Who was the creative genius that dug back through those 80’s corporate pocket folders (as in, call our 800 number and we’ll send you a pocket folder) to find “Synergy.”
Cross that chasm.
Take it to the next level and drop that ball.
Drink that Kool-Aid.
How can one of the largest, richest companies in the world, a company with fingers in every government pie, with thousands of employees, a company with our planet’s very soul held hostage in a dirty oil drum in Klusterfukistan… Do something this stupid.
It’s apparently got seven magical ingredients that do magical things for your engine while frying our atmosphere. But how can gasoline be bad if it’s got “Synergy.”
I looked up Synergy and it’s officially defined as something to do with various organizations working together for a better result. Maybe an evil mashup between energy and symbiosis.
It’s this kind of miserable business cliché that corporate types like to throw around with “client-centered” and “offline” and “actionable.” It’s crap. It may tell the other corporate types you’re trying to impress that you know the secret language but don’t throw it at the rest of us.
Am I being brutal? Absolutely. The emperor is naked as pickled hell and someone has to say it. That’s the whole paradigm shift of our out of the box envelope pushing new agency, The Fallow Fields Agency.
We’re a bunch of jaded ad guys who have seen it all and we’ve decided to use our experience to save the universe from stupid advertising.
Our business model is simple. Give us a little money and we’ll go through your upcoming creative and tell you if you’re going to get forever voted off the creative island for going public with it. If you’re an agency, let us punch holes in your pitch. Let us rip into everything you’re doing and ask a lot of awkward, brutal questions. If you can’t defend your thinking to us, what’s the client going to do to you? We’ll help you be asshole proof. It’s worth it.
If you’re the client, let us tear up that smarm the agency just pitched. You’ll be armed to go back and have them fix it before that email goes out to your colleagues that you’re “pursuing other opportunities.”
It’s actually a brilliant idea. Before you push the button on spending a mountain of money, let us have our way with your precious creation. If we can punch holes in the idea, go back to the drawing board.
Pretty smart eh? And cheap.
Now back to “Synergy.”
It’s stupid. Dump it. Better yet, fire up the time machine, go back six months, hire us, let us tell you it’s stupid and save yourself millions.
I give “Synergy” Five Sink Holes. (That’s our new rating system for lousy advertising. The only thing worse than a fallow field is a fallow field with sink holes.
How’s that for a true value added, win-win proposition.